I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
