i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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