If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
