Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
