Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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