Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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