Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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