NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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