Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
