these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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