Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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