it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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