the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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