Screwed.edu
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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