dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
