she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby