It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse