i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What changed your mind?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.