Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?