please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.