Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator