Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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