When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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