she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
