we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
