Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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