Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
