her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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