I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize