i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
