It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Text me some of your sweat
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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