those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
