Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
