Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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