Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's Friday. Sex?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
