I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
