3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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