i think my mom watched the whole time
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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