It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
