He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
