If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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