Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
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It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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