If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
