I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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