i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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