I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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