oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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