You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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