I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
