Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
