I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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