what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
