the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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