Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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