So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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