So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
