you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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