what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
