I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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