doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
