So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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