i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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