i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I forget how to act sober
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
