these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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