Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
