at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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