in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
